"Hello children. Tonight I'm going to make sweet love to your rectum."
More on that later...
For those of you on the left coast, I suppose I shoud confirm that I am, in fact, alive. St. Patrick's Day was very fun, but it was not among my more...storied Paddy's adventures (no broken hand, no "telling people what I really think of them," no green beverages, etc.). Cal did manage to lose in the first round of the NCAA Tournament that night, but I was too blissfully tanked to care by then. Alcohol truly is the cause of and answer to all of life's problems.
While I don't usually wax diaristic here, I must briefly discuss my eventful week: Monday night was the Annie show at Mercury Lounge. Now, you know how I love Annie, and she did score #7 album and share the top single spot (with Bloc Party) in Listmania 2005. So trust me when I say... WORST. SHOW. EVER. Luckily, it was so bad we had a great time. Redboy shouting "more lasers!" every time the keyboardist used a random laser effect (approx. 7.5 times per song) was worth the price of admission. And Annie may be a cutie, but she can't even sing with the help of some near-criminal overdubbing and multitracking. Deliciously awful.
Tuesday was a banner day... got cable, got a bed, and got the Interwebs at home. Finally, the management is dragged kicking and screaming into the 21st century.
Today at 3:00 is a little work field trip to the 2006 Whitney Biennial. A snotty, impenetrable critique will follow shortly. (Speaking of deep thoughts about art, I forgot to mention a wildly self-aggrandizing little tidbit: McSweeny's has asked to include my Conceptual Art list in their upcoming McSweeny's Book of Lists. I'm gonna be a published...um...listmaker. Plus I get $25! Righteous bucks.)
And now back to the mining of popular culture for worthless trinkets!
The new Walkmen single, "Louisiana," is currently streaming at the band's MySpace page. It's good, county-fried fun.
I'd love to say that my new musical revelation, Band of Horses, was mine alone because I'm so goddamn plugged-in. But that would be bullshit, as it all started with a Bitchfork review (oh the shame!). Stereogum has an MP3 on offer as well. Connoisseurship provenance notwithstanding, it's a great fuckin' album. Imagine My Morning Jacket with more heartbreak and a handful of quaaludes.
Finally, did anyone else see the new episode of South Park last night? The death(?) of Chef was without question one of their most inspired shows. Highlights included a cop giving a molestation-demonstration doll a rim job, and the following quote from Kyle's Scientology-baiting eulogy: "We shouldn't be mad at Chef for leaving us. We should be mad at that fruity little club for scrambling his brains."
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